Untitled Poem

Untitled Poem by guest poet Chiquita Hyche

I’m broken n i don’t know how to heal myself.

I cry to myself every night.

Like i really want the pain to go away but i know I’m hurting for a reason .

When will it stop tho.

I have learned so much from this pain but y is it still hurting so much .

The older i get the deeper the wound gets.

What am i doing wrong.

I just want it to go away.

Rejection has become apart of me n the feeling is indescribable.

I feel like I’m not wanted.

My daddy put a spell on me.

Every nigga i meet reminds me of him.

They want me then they leave me.

Like i don’t know how much of this i wanna take.

I’m looking for love in all the wrong places but i don’t know how the right places look.

I’m using so many outlets to numb the pain but it just won’t go away.

I just want it to go away.

Even if it doesn’t go away give me something that’s worth going through the pain.

Right now i just don’t know.

But its Gods plan right??

Chiquita Hyche is a good friend, poet, and nail tech.

Untitled poem by Chiquita Hyche

You say it's selfish of me to take my own life
Well I think it's selfish of you to want me in pain
I don't think you really understand how bad I just want the pain to go away
I'm tired of feeling like this
Every time I close my eyes
I relive every moment that put me in pain in the first place
My mind be playing these games with me
It's telling me to leave
It's telling me to stay
But if I stay the pain won't go away
I often question myself--What's the purpose?
Why am I here?
Am I here to endure more pain?
I keep battling with these demons that I just want to get away from
I pray
I cry
I pray
I cry
The drinking only makes me forget my pain momentarily
I really don't know if things are getting better
or am I just use to it
I just want it to go away
Why me???
I mean it is...
but hey who else is living my life?
Me...
but these are just my thoughts from a broken soul

Chiquita Hyche is a poet, nail tech, and a long time friend. Follow her on Instagram @naildbyjuicy

Untitled Poem by guest poet Chiquita Hyche

I love you but I hate you

Sounds real cliché but it’s true

I try to stay away from you but it’s

Something about you that’s drawing me closer

We on two different pages but I’m trying to slow

Down so you can catch up

But time keeps passing

And I keep wondering

Will I ever have you…

Will I ever have those things that I wish for in you

It’s like I’m trying to make something a reality but its remaining a dream

I know you got your heart broke

Once and you keep trying to rewind time and go back

But I want you to move on

I want you to know that it’s more in life than heartbreak n unhappiness

I’m trying to give you something I never had

But I’m getting pushed away

I’ve given up on so much but

I won’t give up on you

I love you because I see the good in you

I see you trying

I see you being the perfect guy but you’re scared

I have so much high hopes for you

You deserve better but you stuck

I see you being the man you want to be

But do you see it

I love you but I hate you

I hate you because you me in a place where I don’t know what’s next

I don’t know if I should continue to love you

Or give up on you

I’m confused because the words you say suppress my feelings but your actions

Tend to hurt them

I hate you because I feel like you leading me on

N I’m continuing to follow

I hate you because I fell in love with you

I wasn’t trying to but it happened

So it’s me who gotta deal with it

Whatever comes next I’m willing to deal with it

I love you

But I hate you

I just hope at that end

It don’t hurt so much

Chiquita Hyche is a dear friend, poet,
and nail tech.
Follow her:
@chiquita

FORGIVE ME--by guest poet Tonisha N.

Locked windows

Closed doors

Painful thorns poking at my flesh

Who knew that a rose could thrive in the cold

Night skies

Reminiscing on the good times

Life laughs

Life dies

Life has so many unknown whys

Cries

Tears filling up my soul

But failing to fall out of my eyes

I can’t cry

It’s as if the devil himself is begging me to take this joyride

Through gratification

And wicked sins

To bring out the pain that I feel within

No one told me that it would easy

But they did say it would be worth it

Now I’m trying to figure out why the fuck this shit ain’t perfect

And where did I go wrong because shit hasn’t been right in long

Now I’m sitting here pretending

Talking others out of suicide while I’m the one needing the intervention

Ain’t that shit wicked

You’re saving them while your foot is on the ledge

With your heart beating fast

And your soul in cast

You’re battling demons that no one can seem to grasp

Lurking in the shadows

For you to give your last

And snatch you away fast

So I wait

And I listen

Hoping they’ll give me the answers to what it is that I’m feeling

Maybe I’m dreaming

But I see no reason in living

And maybe ending it all would make shit much simpler

Just forgive me when my eyes close and my light fades away

Your darkness will turn to day

So forgive me

But I couldn’t stay. . .

"Broken Clocks" A Poem by Tonisha N.

Broken Clocks

She had her heartbroken long before she was interested in a man
Holding on to the saying “father’s are a girl’s best friend”
But where was he when she needed that influence
Jumping from house to house
And bed to bed
Neglecting to settle down and make a home with a wife and kids
And even when he did she was nowhere apart of his plan
Now she’s all grown up jumping from bed to bed looking for the right man to heal that heartbreak that her father did
Accepting black eyes
And lies
Hoping that one day that man that she’s sleeping beside will become the man that had her up late at night with tears in her eyes
That little girl longing for a father is now a woman
And that woman is struggling to overcome it
How do you trust a man when the one who was supposed to teach you just up and disappeared
Now you’re just living a lie
With a constant why in the back of your head
Was you just not good enough
Or was he just not a man