Stay Connected!
Stay Connected! I know, it's so easy to say but when you're depressed it can be the hardest thing to accomplish. I know this all to well now, but there was a time when I didn't know what was wrong with me. Why were there times when I could easily be the life of the party and a social butterfly but then other times I was withdrawn, anti-social and someone that couldn't even get out of bed?
According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person's ability to function at work and at home.
When you are facing depression the most natural thing to do is stay to yourself. It is also the most dangerous thing that you can do. Some signs of depression include:
1. Does this person understand what Depression is and the signs of it?
Having someone in your life that understands what depression is and the signs of it keeps you from having to explain it to them all the time. And sometimes when you're going through a depressive episode you may not even recognize it so it's good to have someone who is familiar with your "normal" behavior so that they can see when you've changed.
2. Have they experienced Depression before or currently dealing with Depression?
It's good to have someone in your corner that understands what depression is and that recognizes the signs, however, it may not be the best decision to have your go-to person someone who deals with depression. You may find yourself in need of some help but you're partner may be in need of help themselves. And you don't really wanna see two people depressed--it's soooo depressing (j/k)!!!!!!
3. Are they judgey (judemental)?
I'm sorry but you have to consider this. Do you get comments like--maybe you just need to get out and meet someone... or are you sure you're depressed or is it that "time of the month"? I can go on and on. If the person your considering to be your go-to person--think again! During this time you really don't need someone that just "don't get it" you need someone that will be empathetic but not enable you.
4. Are they willing?
This is an emergency situation. This is no time for a flaker. The person has to be willing to listen, to talk at all sorts of inconvenient hours, to show up and be prepared for a fight--because of course you're not going to want to get out of bed, brush your teeth, and bathe willingly!
I've personally found that when I force myself to get up and get out of the house--even if it's to the grocery store I immediately feel better. It doesn't mean that I don't crawl right back in bed the moment I get home but you really have to pick your battles. I try not to let a day go by without me at least getting out of the house.
I also will only pick up the phone for certain people. These people I know that when I talk to them they will pray for me, make me smile or laugh, come drag me out the house or encourage me in some way to start making moves. These people are important because they help sometimes help the fog clear faster or at least guide you through it.
References:
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression
According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person's ability to function at work and at home.
When you are facing depression the most natural thing to do is stay to yourself. It is also the most dangerous thing that you can do. Some signs of depression include:
- Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
- Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Loss of energy or increased fatigue
- Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)
- Feeling worthless or guilty
- Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
- Thoughts of death or suicide
1. Does this person understand what Depression is and the signs of it?
Having someone in your life that understands what depression is and the signs of it keeps you from having to explain it to them all the time. And sometimes when you're going through a depressive episode you may not even recognize it so it's good to have someone who is familiar with your "normal" behavior so that they can see when you've changed.
2. Have they experienced Depression before or currently dealing with Depression?
It's good to have someone in your corner that understands what depression is and that recognizes the signs, however, it may not be the best decision to have your go-to person someone who deals with depression. You may find yourself in need of some help but you're partner may be in need of help themselves. And you don't really wanna see two people depressed--it's soooo depressing (j/k)!!!!!!
3. Are they judgey (judemental)?
I'm sorry but you have to consider this. Do you get comments like--maybe you just need to get out and meet someone... or are you sure you're depressed or is it that "time of the month"? I can go on and on. If the person your considering to be your go-to person--think again! During this time you really don't need someone that just "don't get it" you need someone that will be empathetic but not enable you.
4. Are they willing?
This is an emergency situation. This is no time for a flaker. The person has to be willing to listen, to talk at all sorts of inconvenient hours, to show up and be prepared for a fight--because of course you're not going to want to get out of bed, brush your teeth, and bathe willingly!
I've personally found that when I force myself to get up and get out of the house--even if it's to the grocery store I immediately feel better. It doesn't mean that I don't crawl right back in bed the moment I get home but you really have to pick your battles. I try not to let a day go by without me at least getting out of the house.
I also will only pick up the phone for certain people. These people I know that when I talk to them they will pray for me, make me smile or laugh, come drag me out the house or encourage me in some way to start making moves. These people are important because they help sometimes help the fog clear faster or at least guide you through it.
References:
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression
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Man, this is tough! For a couple reasons. 1. Like you said, you don’t feel like connecting with anyone so even if you do find that person that actually understands (#2) you may not even want to talk to them. That other person really needs to know your signs and be willing to check on you knowing that you likely won’t reach out for help.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right Khia that this is a very difficult task but it is one that is very important. So even if it takes awhile to find the right person we can never think its okay to give up--that's dangerous!
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