What is Depression? Part II- Responses

Responses from last Thursday's Live Instagram Therapeutic Session

Last Thursday's Live Therapeutic Session was epic.  I invite everyone that reads this post to join me on my Openly Broken Instagram page this and every Thursday for a live therapeutic session.  It was such a blessing to me and based on the responses I know that it was a blessing to everyone that participated as well.  I want to personally thank all of those who shared of their knowledge and their pain.  The topic of Depression, Mental Illness and how it effects the African American woman and the African American community is a much needed conversation today.

I would like to share with you some of the amazing responses and comments I received during the last session.  The topic was "What is Depression" and to narrow it down a little we discussed how it looks in the African American woman.  I'm so grateful and thankful to all of the counselors that joined the conversation to give some knowledgeable answers.  Please visit the supporters page to check out the counselors that joined the session.

"We all need someone to be there for us"

@tanya_kylie

I reached out to a lot of women that joined my page, hoping that they would be willing to share, what I definitely know to be some of the most intimate thoughts and feelings ever.  The response was overwhelming.  These ladies really opened up and became vulnerable for the sake of each other.  It was beautiful. 

"Invest in your health"

Ladonna N. Butler

Counselor

As African American women it is sometimes very difficult to find the time and money or the value in investing in our mental health.  For so long I did not even recognize a need for this type of self-care.  It wasn't until I was virtually unrecognizable to myself that I began to see a therapist.  That moment changed my entire life.  I firmly believe that if you are African American you need counseling (period)!  We go through so much, much more than a lot of other races, especially living in America.  Many of our communities are riddled with violence and drugs.  Not to mention the never ending drama we are exposed to and sometimes involved in.  These things along with life's ups and downs and unexpected turns it can be challenging knowing how to navigate through all of that and maintain healthy relationships with ourselves and others.  

"It's so easy to pass our stress to others without realizing it"

@tanya_kylie

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they were venting to you and then afterwards you recognize that you have this anxious feeling?  Have you ever noticed that you may have been a little "snappy" with the next person you came in contact with?  I've noticed that a lot lately.  I don't think I knew to look for it at first but one day I realized that after I got through talking to someone about a heated situation I ended up arguing with someone very close to me.  I later wondered if I hadn't had that earlier conversation would I have gotten into an argument later.  I honestly don't know but what I've learned to do is this: pray. Whenever I've been exposed to a negative emotion and I realize that it's affecting me, I pray and ask God for peace.  Especially during this time in my life where I find myself vulnerable and exposed it is so important to stay protected.

I believe African American women have a great deal of unspoken pressure on us that further exacerbates feelings of sadness.  There are great expectations posed on us both internally and externally.  

Essence of Life Counseling

"We often lack self awareness...and insight."

Essence of Life Counseling

"Sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel all of our emotions. #superwomansyndrone"

Ladonna Butler

"We constantly carry that weight on our shoulders and we are ridiculed when we even think about putting it down."

Shaquania Walker

I almost fell out of my seat when I read this comment from my personal spiritual counselor Shaqaunia Walker.  That weight.  What is that weight that we are always carrying?  Is it the weight of being perfect all the time?  Is it that weight of making sure that everyone else's need is taking care of all the time?  Is it that weight of being "super woman"?  This is a topic we will have to dedicate the full hour to one day very soon.  

"But we need to be aware of our kryptonite...lack of self care, microaggressions, unhealthy relationships, etc.."

LaDonna Butler

"Do a self exam every morning and every night.  Set a time to focus on who you are aside from the roles you have."

Essence of Life Counseling

One of the last things we talked about last Thursday was "self-care".  I suggested journaling.  Writing is a big passion for me.  It comes very easy to me so of course I find myself writing during the worse moments of my life.  It is a great release and I also get to go back an examine my personal thoughts.  Journaling also gives you the opportunity to be very honest.  You can write exactly how you feel without the fear of letting anyone else down or feeling guilty.  In my journal I can truly be myself.  I encourage you to try it.  

"Remember Queens need rest too."

LaDonna Butler

"Telling others and ourselves that we're fine is a defense mechanism...It also displays a lack of trust and constant displays of being let down.  We can't/won't open up to anyone.  Especially me."

One of the guest speakers @princess_empowerment stated that, "we don't protect our emotions."  And I had to agree with her.  For so long I did not protect my emotions nor did I attempt to protect my mental state and because of that I allowed so many unhealthy things into my personal space.  When we allow that, it changes us.  She went on to say that, " we suppress our feelings and trauma and (just) keep going."  It's a cycle of brokenness.  And in this cycle you can't "support yourself, your children or your family."