Openly Broken

Openly Broken
For African American Women dealing with Depression

Monday, May 7, 2018

FORGIVE ME--by guest poet Tonisha N.

Locked windows
Closed doors
Painful thorns poking at my flesh
Who knew that a rose could thrive in the cold
Night skies
Reminiscing on the good times
Life laughs
Life dies
Life has so many unknown whys
Cries
Tears filling up my soul
But failing to fall out of my eyes
I can’t cry
It’s as if the devil himself is begging me to take this joyride
Through gratification
And wicked sins
To bring out the pain that I feel within
No one told me that it would easy
But they did say it would be worth it
Now I’m trying to figure out why the fuck this shit ain’t perfect
And where did I go wrong because shit hasn’t been right in long
Now I’m sitting here pretending
Talking others out of suicide while I’m the one needing the intervention
Ain’t that shit wicked
You’re saving them while your foot is on the ledge
With your heart beating fast
And your soul in cast
You’re battling demons that no one can seem to grasp
Lurking in the shadows
For you to give your last
And snatch you away fast
So I wait
And I listen
Hoping they’ll give me the answers to what it is that I’m feeling
Maybe I’m dreaming
But I see no reason in living
And maybe ending it all would make shit much simpler
Just forgive me when my eyes close and my light fades away
Your darkness will turn to day
So forgive me
But I couldn’t stay. . .

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Dear Openly Broken

A Poem by Guest Blogger
Chiquita


Dear broken heart .. I know you hurt and i know u tired of me taking you through the same ol shit. I’m not going to lie tho I’m sorry but I’m not sorry. I actually thought this was gone be some real shit but i guess you saying same shit just a different nigga.. I hope you understand what I’m about to say to you and i hope that u can forgive me. I’m hurting too. No matter how much of me i give it’s like it gives them more reason to love someone else. I mean who am i? Why did i think this would work? Why did i think they would even love me. Why did i wait for them?Why did i give my body to them? Now i feel like i wasted my time and yours. Heart i pulled all the love out of you that u had left. I gave u to somebody that i thought would handle you with care. Now I’m stuck . Stuck on how to heal you again. Stuck on thoughts of how to not do this to you again. I’m sorry and i can’t say it enough. I know you hurting . Like what now? Where do we go from here? You got a lot of scars and i opened up an old wound. I know you tired. Tired of hurt tired of pain tired of giving your all to situations that’s been dead. I wish i could forget everything about them. But i can’t. My heart won’t let me. My mind won’t let me. All i can do is cry n hope the pain will eventually ease away. I did this to you and I’m sorry i truly am. I hope that one day you would forgive me then i can one day forgive myself. Before i go tho. I just wanna tell u something. You love way to hard heart like we suppose to be in this together but you go way harder than me. The way you love the next can u love me?? I think that’s where it starts.. i feel like if you love me first the person who suppose to love u will love you. You loving the wrong person heart. This another heartbreak we gotta get through together and just like any other time we got this. So for now .. to protect the both of us I’m putting that guard back up.

Sincerely..
The person who carries you on her shoulder ..

Chiquita Hyche is a dear friend and poet.
She's also a professional nail technition.
Follow her on Facebook:
@chiquita


Candace

Monday, April 9, 2018

"Broken Clocks" A Poem by Tonisha N.

Broken Clocks

She had her heartbroken long before she was interested in a man
Holding on to the saying “father’s are a girl’s best friend”
But where was he when she needed that influence
Jumping from house to house
And bed to bed
Neglecting to settle down and make a home with a wife and kids
And even when he did she was nowhere apart of his plan
Now she’s all grown up jumping from bed to bed looking for the right man to heal that heartbreak that her father did
Accepting black eyes
And lies
Hoping that one day that man that she’s sleeping beside will become the man that had her up late at night with tears in her eyes
That little girl longing for a father is now a woman
And that woman is struggling to overcome it
How do you trust a man when the one who was supposed to teach you just up and disappeared
Now you’re just living a lie
With a constant why in the back of your head
Was you just not good enough
Or was he just not a man