Part 1
For so long my life has been an emotional roller-coaster for
what I thought was a lot of different reasons.
But during this time in my life of self-examination I have come to
discover that it has all boiled down to the fight in my life with my faith vs.
my fear.
At times I realize my faith can be so high and at others my
fear levels peak. This has created a
somewhat bi-polar type lifestyle and attitude that has left me drained and
often times very confused. One example that comes to mind are the times that I have gone to church and heard a great word of encouragement given by the pastor. I leave church feeling so excited about life and ready to take on any and every challenge that may come my way. But by mid-week I am like a totally different person. I realize that like the body that can be on a sugar-high so can my mind and my spirit. But like all sugar highs you can and will come crashing down. It is only with a well-balanced and nutritious diet that you avoid these highs and lows.
So how do I avoid these highs and lows of experiencing extreme fear and faith? I can honestly say that I am still in search of this answer, but lately I've noticed a difference in my life. Even recognizing that I experience these highs and lows has somewhat helped. It's impossible to fix a problem when you don't even recognize that you have one. So, the first step in solving this problem has been in just recognizing that I have an issue.
The next thing I noticed is the things that trigger the highs and the lows. I noticed that there are certain things that happen in my life consistently that gives me a high feeling and that is "expectation". For example when someone new walks into my life promising to be this or do that I am filled with so much hope for whatever they are promising I don't even allow myself to recognize that I could get disappointed. So when I am disappointed the disappointment is so great I am extremely low.
So, how do I avoid this? Well, I have come to recognize that NO ONE can be my "all" or fulfill my "all" in my life. Recognizing this or the fact that they are human and can disappoint me helps me not to be so disappointed if they do let me down.
The one thing I never want to do is lose hope. I love being and feeling hopeful. I cannot imagine life without hope. But I have noticed that life and certain disappointments has a way of sucking the hope right out of you. I'm trying to find a balance these days between remaining hopeful and being cautious.
I want to keep my faith and I don't want to allow fear to stop me from doing this.
So how do I avoid these highs and lows of experiencing extreme fear and faith? I can honestly say that I am still in search of this answer, but lately I've noticed a difference in my life. Even recognizing that I experience these highs and lows has somewhat helped. It's impossible to fix a problem when you don't even recognize that you have one. So, the first step in solving this problem has been in just recognizing that I have an issue.
The next thing I noticed is the things that trigger the highs and the lows. I noticed that there are certain things that happen in my life consistently that gives me a high feeling and that is "expectation". For example when someone new walks into my life promising to be this or do that I am filled with so much hope for whatever they are promising I don't even allow myself to recognize that I could get disappointed. So when I am disappointed the disappointment is so great I am extremely low.
So, how do I avoid this? Well, I have come to recognize that NO ONE can be my "all" or fulfill my "all" in my life. Recognizing this or the fact that they are human and can disappoint me helps me not to be so disappointed if they do let me down.
The one thing I never want to do is lose hope. I love being and feeling hopeful. I cannot imagine life without hope. But I have noticed that life and certain disappointments has a way of sucking the hope right out of you. I'm trying to find a balance these days between remaining hopeful and being cautious.
I want to keep my faith and I don't want to allow fear to stop me from doing this.
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