Nicki vs. Cardi | Why are y’all shocked???

Of course a lot of the talk and conversations regarding Cardi B and Nicki Minaj New York Fashion Week fight has died down but I found myself still thinking about some underlying similarities between these two women and myself. 

This past week every time I scrolled through my various social media platforms I found several posts regarding these two women.  The comments were deep and the conversations was heavy.  Some women were going in screaming I hate seeing Black women portrayed in this light.  While others were immersed in the drama screaming #teambardigang or #teambarbs, going hard for their favorite female rapper.

It seems as if Cardi B's gang can clearly see the sneaky barbs orchestrating cold and calculated moves to mess up her name and bag.  But the barbs feel as if Cardi hasn't paid her dues enough to even be in the same league as Nicki. 

I honestly could care less which side you fall on.  I don't necessarily have a side.  I enjoy some of both of their music however they don't represent my aesthetic. I share moments with their music that remind me of my past self  and the woman I look to hide from the world.

After reading and viewing some of the other first responders (blogs, news outlets, vlogs) and  scrolling through social media I feel like a lot of us has forgotten one very important thing.  And that is-- that these two women are human beings just like you and me.  Sometimes we are so busy judging others that we forget how we are exactly the same way. 

I will be honest and maybe even the first to admit this but sometimes it's hard to see your friend winning especially when you're not.  And, in most cases its not that you don't want to see them win.  No, it's not that.  It's just that seeing them win really shows you how much you're losing.  And that's okay too.  How you handle these particular set of feelings says a lot about who you are as a woman.

If you are a woman who responds to other women's success with jealousy, spitefulness, being vindictive and petty and picking her apart and pointing out every flaw--You have the problem, not her!

If you are a woman who responds to other women's success by not being able to acknowledge her success without pettiness and some way of making her look insignificant than--You are the problem not her.  Recognizing another woman's success does not take away from your own and I honestly feel like we forget that.  We shine the brightest when we shine together!

I really dislike it when people say things to me like, "Oh, yea I seen your lil blog!"  "Oh, I heard about your lil magazine" and "I see where you say you starting a little company"  Excuse You! I have decided that the next person that does this I will politely say thank you, but there's actually nothing (little) about anything that I do!  It's VERY big to me!

I think it's hard sometimes to be really good at something or very successful for a long time and then all of a sudden there's a new person.  A person whose younger, prettier, doing it just a little bit bigger, or getting a little bit more attention than you to come on the scene.  It's hard.  But it doesn't have to become something that is TOXIC.

When we harbor those feelings of jealousy, and resentment and we make moves that will ensure our success by taking down our rivals or competition we only hurt ourselves.  You will reap what you sew.  Whatever seeds of evil you plant for others will find its way sprouting up in your front or backyard.  And I say backyard because sometimes God don't allow everyone to see the Hell you secretly going through all because you've plotted against or talked against and down on someone. 

What if we all decided to just stay in our lanes and do the best with what we have and give it our best shot encouraging each other along the way.  I'm not saying we all have to work together side by side singing Kumbaya, my Lord.  No, but we can at least decide to respect one another.  Make a pact with ourselves and say I'm not going to speak ill of my sister, my friend, my co-worker, my church member or whoever we're working beside. 

These two women can decide that they don't ever wanna be on a track together.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It would be nice though but it would really have to be genuine because sometimes our best singers come together and they sound good and the video looks good but you can't really figure out why it's not as great as others and it really does have a lot to do with chemistry and how they vibe together.  If they are not getting along a lot of times you can easily tell, especially when you compare it to others where you can see the love.