Now, everyone's church hurt is different but there are a few key ingredients. The main one being that the hurt involves people from the church. I think that the most hurt occurs when it involves an authority figure within the church such as a pastor, preacher, apostle, bishop, first lady or someone with a title.
It hurts when someone in authority does something that hurts you but doesn't handle the situation the way the Bible says to handle it. (Matthew 5:23-24) When people in authority abuse their power and no one calls them out on it because of their title--it hurts. And it especially hurts when that person in authority decides that they won't be challenged or addressed because of their title--yea that hurts!
It hurts to attend a church every Sunday, invest your time into the people and they become like family and then when issues arise as they always do and the authority chooses the side of the most popular people in the church or the church family when they clearly see the wrong. They never address it and everyone just goes on and makes you feel as if you don't really matter. That hurts. A lot of times people feel swindled when they receive such a warm welcome into the church and then later discover the cliques, politics, jealousy, backstabbing, and gossiping that happens. It can be very difficult to deal with. Some things go unaddressed for decades or are never addressed but this is the opposite of what is preached.
It hurts when people in authority have their own issues but they hide and cover them up, but stand up and boldly and loudly call you out on your issues. And then when God reveals to everyone their issues they never address it just, but go on with life as if nothing is wrong. And then when you try to ask them about it they rebuke you and distance themselves from you. That hurts. Especially when you thought you actually had a real true friendship and not just like some professional business arrangement wrapped up in a spiritual blanket. Yea that hurts.
People are often ostracized within the church because they speak the truth and call out people in authority that want to abuse their power. That hurts. But you wanna know what I learned--the hard way? Hurt is hurt. It is our views that cause us to feel that this is a different kind of hurt.
I had to recognize something for myself--I idolized people in the church. So therefore when they fell short of the grandiose way I viewed them--I was hurt. In fact, my foundation of the Church and Christianity was built around this idea of people with titles and positions that they are somehow God-like. They are not! They are human beings just like you and me.
When I recognized this my whole outlook on church changed. I felt like I owed them an apology for holding them so high on a pedestal. My salvation and my relationship with God is mine and how dare I put that precious and intimate item in the hands of anyone else! The people I had put high up on a pedestal had fell down far and hard in my eyes when in reality they didn't fall any harder or lower than I ever fell. And I've never fallen to low or to hard that I couldn't get back up.
But when we are looking at people through these "you are larger then life" glasses our view becomes distorted. And yes, sometimes people of the church do like to try to build themselves up higher than what they are. This is why their fall is so hard for them as well--because we all fall! No one is the exception to that rule! I don't care who you are or who you think you are!
It's a very hard pill to swallow when you recognize that what you thought was real is actually not! I used to view church as this great place that I could come to and lay all my burdens and then return home and not really have a relationship with God. My relationship was more so with the church and that's a problem!
Sometimes when we experience church hurt we can behave as if we've just broken off a relationship with a guy or a girl. That's what this entire situation with Leandria Johnson reminds me of. When I've ended relationships in the past and they didn't end well I can remember saying some real ungodly things either to myself about the person or to them! It's so crazy how I can remember being so angry at different churches. It would always shock me and catch me off guard when terrible things would happen in the church.
I had this idea that nothing bad was suppose to happen there--FALSE! The church is the people. The people = The church. You can't get one without the other. Church hurt is really hurt cause by people just like you. But when you magnify the idea of church and make it magical and mystical you feel like it's a different kind of hurt.
I'm so glad that my church hurt happened. It crumbled my false ideas of the church and the people that made up the church. Now, my main focus is my relationship with God and I don't need a membership for that. I know that people like to encourage you to go to church but I want to encourage you to have a relationship with God no matter what church you find yourself in.
I've been a member of a few churches. The people are always changing. The pastors even change. But God always remain the same --faithful, loving, forgiving-- always there to heal all hurt--including #churchhurt!
